Close your eyes… after reading this article, obviously. Imagine you’re a bright blue balloon. Think of all your challenges and limitations. These make up the balloon’s rubbery material. Sure, there’re soft patches but it’s more or less holding together nicely. Then, taking a pitstop on his international tour, Mr. Corona picks up the balloon. Untying the knot, he starts to blow. New worries, dangers, traumas, and losses are blown in. The balloon stretches thin. Where does it pop? At the weakest point.
This metaphor highlights how we all have weak points. We “burst” differently than others. This awareness is important. It creates room for understanding, which is valuable during hard times. More than that, knowing your weak points helps you personalize cope ahead strategies. The question is, how to best zero in on those weak spots to address them ahead of time?
Learning Who You Are
One powerful tool is The Big Five Personality Assessment. A link to this assessment can be found here. It’s the only scientific personality test out there. It’s used to describe a person’s unique personality fingerprint. With this information in hand, you can consciously target your weak points. Knowing where to put your energies will keep the balloon from bursting.
High in industriousness? This explains why you’re white knuckling quarantined home life. Your wife doesn’t seem to mind the pajama clad screaming children but you sure do. Locking yourself away in the bedroom to work set hours could be one option to relieve the pressure. Low in fear sensitivity? This explains why you’re annoyed at your wife’s “needless” worrying. There’s no problem taking public transportation. After all, the buses are empty! Be validating to defuse this fight and negotiating the issue. You’re built differently than her. That’s why you’re worrying differently.
It’s normal to feel feel anxious, depressed, or worried and not know why. Partly this stems from taking for granted how we see things. This is the root of our blind spots. It’s those blind spots that make bad situations worse. They are amplified by the highly stressful and unpredictable situation we’re facing. Having a clear sense of your personality sheds a powerful light on this confusion. It offers a roadmap of where to focus your self-care and increase self-compassion. It gives a clarity to keep your balloon from bursting.
Take the Big Five Assessment by clicking here.
About the Author
Yonasan Bender LCSW graduated from Hebrew University’s School of Social Work. He works with adults, couples, and children from his private therapy practice in Jerusalem. To share your thoughts, questions, or a different perspective, you can reach Yonasan Bender LCSW at 053-808-0435 and at firstname.lastname@example.org or check out his website at www.jerusalemtherapy.org.